Title: Knowing You (1/5)
Pairing: Yunjae / Jaeho
Rating: PG-13 - NC-17
Summary: Yunho and Jaejoong have a fight. What's new? But, when something happens to make them see each other differently their relationship is tested, insecurities made apparent....and Jaejoong finds a new kink.
A/N: First and for most I'm writing this fic for my beloved Nicole oppa~ she inspired it and I promised it. Secondly, many thanks to my understanding beta and to my angel at kpoptarts for letting me bug them restlessly during this. This will be my first chaptered fic. I'm really nervous but extremely excited to share it. It won't be too long, under five chapters actually. So please look forward to it ~
add your thoughts in the comments, they make me happy."We finally get a week off and you're going to spend it on your laptop watching and taking notes on our past performances?!"
Yunho sighs heavily from where he sits at the kitchen table.
"It's called being a responsible leader."
"It's called being a workaholic." Jaejoong snaps. He crosses his arms and stares down at the younger male from across the room.
Yunho ignores him and continues to write down notes for their most recent music show appearance. Yoochun was off a step, Changmin went too far to the left, the back up dancers need to...
"Do you even understand what the concept of a break actually means?"
"Just because we're on break doesn't mean you should forget who and what we..."
"Spare me the lecture Yunho."
"Jaejoong." Yunho warns, picking up on the tones of hostility in his voice. The last thing he wanted to do was to get in a fight with the man that would only serve to spread a foul mood throughout the dorm.
There's a moment of silence as Jaejoong shifts in his stance. When he finally speaks up again his question comes out suggestive and smooth.
"Are you sure you don't want to do anything else? I'm sure we can..."
"I'm busy." Yunho monotonously answers.
"Unbelievable!" Jaejoong laughs. He yanks himself away from the counter, on which he was perched against, and heads straight for Yunho. He stops across the table from him, his hands settling to grip the top of chair there. "You're always busy."
Yunho bites his tongue as frustration starts to creep its way into his mood. Jaejoong wasn't going to leave him alone until he got whatever he wanted.
"You're welcome to help me." Yunho offers, pointing to the empty seat next to him.
Jaejoong recoils and takes a step back.
"I would never." He hisses. "What you see as faults, are only proof that we're human. And I will not stress out my members to be perfect when there is no such thing as perfection, Yunho."
Yunho slams the pen down finally having had enough of Jaejoong's attitude. He stares up at the older male, narrowing his glare as Jaejoong gives him one in return. A backlash of remarks and hurtful words rampage through his mind. He feels attacked and annoyed at Jaejoong's persistent hounding. He wants to say something about work ethics, how being one of the most highly regarded bands in the Korean and Japanese music industry comes with responsibilities.
"What?!" He rises from his seat. With his hands still on the table, Yunho leans forward. "Did you think joining DBSK was going to be easy? That the title of being one of Asia's best would just be handed to you on a silver platter?"
Jaejoong's eyes widen, his mouth opens to speak but Yunho beats him to it.
"You know nothing of hard work Jaejoong." Yunho tears his eyes away from the surprised look on Jaejoong's face and sinks back down into his seat, picking up his pen as he does so.
Yunho goes to restart his video only to jerk his hands away right before Jaejoong slams the lid to his laptop down.
"Fuck you Yunho." He grits out. "We work our asses off for DBSK. Don't you dare tell me we don't. This was never about work ethics."
Jaejoong's hand doesn't move despite Yunho's attempts at pushing it off of his laptop.
"Then what?!" Yunho snaps, his hand tightening its grip on Jaejoong's wrist. "What could this possible be about? Spit it out already."
Jaejoong gives an irritated shout and rips his hand away from Yunho's grasp.
"Me?" Yunho looks up to catch Jaejoong's eyes roll. "What about me?"
"You never spend time with us."
"How can you say that?!" Yunho throws his hands out to the side in disbelief. "I'm with you guys 24 / 7!"
Jaejoong kicks away the chair in front of him, leaving it to skid and clatter loudly onto its side next to them.
"Pick it up." Yunho commands, but Jaejoong ignores him. He moves in closer, partially leaning over the table towards Yunho.
"You may be here physically," Jaejoong eyes him with disapproval. " But, mentally, you're always in leader mode. Barking out orders and causing fear of making the smallest mistake even when we're in the privacy of our own home. Have you forgotten how to be a friend? A brother?"
Jaejoong pauses, and for briefest second Yunho sees a flash of hurt pass through Jaejoong's displeased features. His voice drops down to a whisper and despite it being so soft, it hits Yunho like a pound of bricks.
They stay there in silence. Eyes locked and minds reeling as Jaejoong's last few words linger in the air.
Yunho doesn't get it. Sure he made sure that everyone acted their part when needed but he was still always there to make them laugh or show support in anything that they wanted to do.
"I..." Yunho shakes his head. "That's not true."
Jaejoong snorts, giving him a sharp disbelieving smile.
"Even right now Yunho. You have yet to treat me as anything but a member who is out of line. Do you really care more about the name than you do about your own members?"
Yunho stands back up suddenly, jolting his chair backwards. He leans over the table meeting Jaejoong halfway.
"How dare you suggest that I..."
Yunho's jaw tightens around the unsaid words as Jaejoong only smirks knowingly at him before pulling away. He crosses his arms and turns to look at the doorway where Changmin's head emerges from.
"We're about to watch a movie. You should come join us."
Changmin's eyes land on the fallen chair and smiles hesitantly at them both.
Jaejoong turns back to Yunho, his eyes already glinting with a challenge.
"Yeah Yunho, lets watch a movie together."
Yunho swallows down the bubbling anger in his throat, his stare never leaving Jaejoong's face.
"Fine." He growls out lowly.
"Great!" Changmin cheers. "Last one in has to bring the popcorn." And with that he bounds back out of the room.
Neither one of them speaks even though Yunho feels he needs too. He wants an apology from Jaejoong but he also knows that his own fighting words were no better.
He takes in a deep breath, trying to quell the feelings of aggravation while the words of accusation drive deeper into his skin. To love the name DBSK more than his own members? Absurd, how could Jaejoong say such a thing?
Yunho massages his temples turning away from Jaejoong to sort through all the things he could say that wouldn't have them at each other's throats. He hears Jaejoong move away, registering the slamming sounds of the cabinet doors opening and closing.
When he turns back around he sees Jaejoong ripping open the wrappers to the snacks and Yunho gets the feeling that any sort of words could wait till later. Instead he fixes the chairs, placing them neatly back in line with the others before walking out of the room.
~ ~ ~Yunho stands in the threshold between the living room and the hallway, taking in the contrasting mood that fills the space.
Yoochun lies on the ground laughing as Junsu one handedly tries to swat away a frustrated Changmin.
"I bet you're sitting on it." Changmin shouts. He catches Junsu's hand and tries to pull him off the floor away from the laptop.
Junsu gives a surprised cry and Yoochun's laughter only grows louder.
"It's the one place we haven't looked. Move!" Changmin pulls harder and Junsu struggles to stay in place, eyes still glued to laptop in front of him.
"It's not here! I'll help you look after I finish this game."
"You said that the last time." Changmin whines, releasing Junsu's hand.
"This is the last one I swear."
"Yeah right." Changmin coughs, finally moving to upturn the pillows on the couch. "You were the last one to use it though."
"And then I gave it to Yoochun!"
"Oh?" Yoochun sits up, seeming to have remembered something.
Changmin spins around, "Yoochun?!"
Yoochun gives a sheepish smile, rubbing his head as he holds up the missing remote.
"See! I told you I didn't have it!" Junsu deafeningly shouts.
Changmin explodes, tossing the horde of pillows on the couch towards Yoochun. The later ducks, his laughter mixed apology muffled as the pillows eventually cover him.
Yunho clears his voice and everything stops. Changmin drops the pillow in his hand back onto the couch, casting a glare towards the emerging face of Yoochun.
"Yunho!" Yoochun sits up suddenly, causing an avalanche of pillows to scatter across the floor. "Are you going to watch the movie with us?"
Yunho steps into the room, taking a seat on the couch behind Junsu.
Yoochun smirks at him from his spot on the floor and Yunho can't help but to feel like he's being cornered.
"Ah...is Jaejoong making you spend time with us?"
"What? No, why wou..."
"We know you two were fighting again."
"We weren't fighting." Yunho counters eyeing the three youngest of the group sharply. They merely laugh at his words and share knowing glances at each other.
"Oh right. My bad, you two were just debating. " Yoochun corrects.
Yunho feels the beginnings of a headache starting as the night further progresses from what he had originally planned. He wasn't even sure why he was trying to prove Jaejoong wrong. Obviously if the three could tease him like this it showed how close they were to him personally. And yet there was something else Jaejoong was getting at. Something that Yunho kept missing.
Yunho sighs inwardly, offering a change of topic instead.
"So...what's the movie about?"
"It's a ghost story." Junsu says turning to look at him. "Are you scared?"
"Yah!" Changmin shouts before Yunho can answer. "It's not a ghost, it's a witch."
"Same thing!" Junsu cries turning back towards Changmin.
"They are not! Ghosts can't curse you." Changmin crosses his arms daring Junsu to question him farther.
"Whatever...they're both still scary." Junsu mumbles, focusing back on his game.
"Anyway..." Yunho says trying to get the conversation back on track.
"Anyway," Changmin continues, "there's some witch" he stresses the word while looking pointedly at Junsu, "who curses this couple and..."
"Who were fighting." Yoochun chimes in.
"Right. This couple who were fighting get cursed and well the curse involves them swapping bodies" Changmin shrugs.
"Yeah, you know the whole walk a day in someone else’s shoes love story." Yoochun continues, tossing some of the pillows back onto the couch. "Yoohwan saw it last week, he said it was pretty good despite it's cliché plot."
Everyone except Yunho turns toward the voice. He had already felt Jaejoong's presence before the other made the comment. The small win of getting Yunho to watch a movie with everyone did little to remove the vicious tension that still lingered about him.
Junsu makes a surprised gasp, staring with a look of horror at Jaejoong as he crosses the room towards them.
"Don't say such things." He whispers nervously when Jaejoong sets the tray down on the table in front of them.
"Junsu." Jaejoong laughs. "It's just a movie. Besides, ghost, witches, demons, whatever, they're not real."
"H...how can you say that?"
The room grows quiet and although Yunho is happy to have the attention off him, he spends the time trying to gauge just how annoyed Jaejoong still is with him.
"Don't be silly Junsu. They can't hurt you." Jaejoong soothes.
Junsu shakes his head, closing his laptop before moving to settle into the corner of the two couches, bringing a few of the tossed about pillows with him.
"The supernatural is no laughing matter." Yoochun says as he slides into the empty spot opposite of Yunho on the sectional closer to Junsu.
Jaejoong eyes the three skeptically.
"You guys can't be serious..."
"You shouldn't speak badly about them hyung." Junsu warns. "They might get mad."
Changmin quietly nods his agreement to their words as he sorts through the food.
Jaejoong sarcastically agrees to settle their concerns and grabs two soju bottles off the table before moving to sit beside Yoochun.
"Just start it already." He sighs.
Yunho wants to ignore him, pretend that he's not bothered by Jaejoong's presence. But the nagging irate words from their argument still linger in his mind. And even though he had expected Jaejoong to not sit next to him for the movie he hadn't expected to see a careless smile to grace Jaejoong's face. Especially since the tension still kept the air between them cold.
Yunho was fully aware of every movement Jaejoong made, and even though Jaejoong hadn't looked at him once since he walked into the room, he knew Jaejoong was fully aware of him too. But, as Jaejoong fights to get Yoochun to become a comfortable backrest, Yunho starts to hate the distance between them even though anything less would do nothing to sedate the bitterness he felt within.
Changmin crosses Yunho's line of sight on his way to get the remote, momentarily breaking his focus on Jaejoong. When Changmin returns he plops himself down into the empty spot next him and Yunho turns to watch the movie, welcoming the distraction.
Halfway through, Changmin and Yoochun grow restless as one of the quieter and less interesting parts of the movie drags on. They turn their attention to the intently watching Junsu, who sits on the floor between them.
They share a mischievous look as they try to get Junsu to drink some of the soju, already knowing that Junsu would decline. It starts out with quiet whispers and soft pushes to edge him on. Gradually escalating into a louder show of laughter and teasing as a frustrated Junsu tries to ignore them.
Finally having enough, Junsu roughly pushes Yoochun's hand away causing the later to lose his grip on the bottle. It crashes on to the floor, bringing everyone's attention to the ruptured glass and spreading alcohol.
Yunho is out of his seat staring down at the three in blame. The words, the scolding of how they should have left Junsu alone, how they shouldn't play around so recklessly, to stop staring and clean up the mess before the alcohol soaks into the area rug are all on the tip of his tongue. His mouth already parted to say to them, yet, a movement out of the corner of his eye has Yunho looking elsewhere.
Jaejoong springs out of his seat, barefoot and standing dangerously close to the broken glass, angling his body so only Yunho could see the malicious glare that has the words dying out before they even start, spoiling his mouth like rotten food.
An uncomfortable silence spreads throughout the room, the movie now only serving as background noise. His eyes travel back to three youngest, realization dawning on him once he meets with the wide eyes of panic and overwhelming looks of immediate remorse as they stare up at him unable to move in their state of dismay.
Yunho sees his oversight, quickly coming to terms with what Jaejoong was so forcibly trying to point out before. The rash words he was willing to yell at them over shadowed anything remotely close to showing the concern he felt when seeing the broken glass at their bare feet.
He stays silent, letting it sink in. Watching as Jaejoong ushers Junsu to sit on the couch so he could start cleaning up the mess.
Junsu turns his eyes down as he takes the seat next to Yoochun, whispering a soft apology to Yunho that the other two repeat a bit louder. It's unsettling. How many times had Yunho made them apologize to him for mundane accidents?
The words he should have said scratch their way out of his throat in a stutter.
"A...are you ok?"
No one answers him, only turning their eyes to watch Jaejoong carefully rake the glass into a pile with his fingers.
"They're fine." Jaejoong finally answers for them, allowing them to slowly nod in agreement before ordering Changmin to get some paper towels and a dustpan.
Changmin passes by Yunho with a soft obedient excuse me and Yunho takes it as a cue to leave.
"I'm..." He wants to offer an apology of his own, but it gets stuck somewhere between the awkwardness he feels and selfish pride that prevents him too. "I'm just going to go..."
He leaves the room, grabbing his laptop from the kitchen table, passing a stressed Changmin as he goes. When Yunho passes by the living room to get to his own room he catches Jaejoong's unreadable expression watching him.
But, he ignores it, darting into his room as soon as he was out of site.
~ ~ ~The rest of the night continues on without any more incidents. Yunho tries to busy himself with watching more of their performances, but he only does so halfheartedly. The steady tempo of the pen tapping against the pages of his notebook acts as the only tie in to reality.
The sounds from the other room filter in through his walls and although muffled he had pinpointed the exact moment when the movie had ended and been replaced by their mixed talking and laughter hours ago.
He wants to go back in and share in their mirth but, he knows the only thing that would ensue would be an overwhelming amount of awkwardness on his part as he tries to fit into their conversation.
When he's just about to start pacing, to get rid of some of the nervous energy filling his limbs, he hears footsteps in the hallway fairly close to his room.
Yunho flies out of his chair, pushing his ear against the door. Holding his breath as he tries to decipher who exactly is walking around on the other side.
Soft, light.....slightly clumsy.
Yunho swings the door open, surprising the person in the hallway.
"Jaejoong." He breathes out. His grip tightens on the doorframe, momentarily nervous as he steps out to the hall.
Jaejoong sighs tiredly, glancing back towards the living room to make sure they were alone.
"Yunho." He says mildly.
Yunho swallows down the anxiety that has curled up in his throat. In his room he knew what he had wanted to say to Jaejoong. But now, standing here in front him, Yunho could think of nothing. His planned words and thoughts scattered by the cold stare Jaejoong was giving him. Even the bare hardwood floor that numbed the bottom of his feet seemed warmer than the man standing before him.
"Jaejoong..." He repeats, trying to recall the words that escaped his memory. But nothing comes and Yunho begins to panic. He has to say something but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is the other's name as he keeps restarting his sentence, after the previous ones keep failing to yield an actual conversation point.
"Jaejoong..." He tries again.
Jaejoong gives an aggregative groan.
"Enough! We're not in bed Yunho. Just say something!"
Yunho curses, slamming his fist into the door. A heated blush coats his skin as Jaejoong's words throw him even more off course.
"Damn you, I'm trying!" He hisses back.
"You know what I'm trying to say!"
The skeptical look Jaejoong gives him, the refusal of a response to Yunho's statement only serves to add to the annoyance Yunho feels. His jaw tightens, he sounds like an idiot and probably looks like one too.
"I'm just..." He glances over Jaejoong's shoulder. "Before in the living room that shouldn't have....I didn't intend for that..."
The words finally come to him, but not in order and as he tries to say them all at once he ends up saying nothing.
Jaejoong shakes his head, grabbing for the door handle to his room.
"I'm going to bed."
"No!" Yunho steps forward reaching out a hand to stop him. "I just...I get it, ok?"
He can't stand the thought of him pleading, but he needs Jaejoong to hear him out on this.
"And I'm..." Yunho chokes on the last word. Sorry.
Jaejoong stares up at him expectantly, but when Yunho doesn't continue he just nods his head, looking away as if he had expected this to happen.
"You can't even say it." He opens the door and Yunho's heart sinks. "How can you even expect to do something about it when you can't even get over your own stupid pride?"
Jaejoong slips inside his room, closing the door with a soft echoing click. Once alone Yunho feels a disappointed shame crawl over him. He doesn't deny Jaejoong's harsh truth, but he doesn't want to face it either.
He spins back around into his own room, slamming the door close before diving into his bed to finally put this night behind him.
~ ~ ~The morning comes way to quickly for Yunho. He had spent most of the night just laying there staring at the dark shadows in his room. He was annoyed at himself, but more than that he was hurt to see Jaejoong so displeased with him.
Somewhere in his efforts of trying to be a good leader he had misplaced the part of him that showed them actual loving care. He would do anything for them, but instead of being a friend or a brother he had turned into a relentless dictator, scolding them as if they were five year old children instead of treating them like the twenty something year olds they actually were.
And Jaejoong...Yunho can't even remember the last time they did something together besides get into a fight. The past few weeks Yunho had distracted himself with old performances, looking for mistakes and things to improve upon, telling Jaejoong he was too busy or tired to do much else.
Yunho moans, annoyed that he's awake so early on one of their days off. Without opening his eyes he twists himself through the sheet to lie on the other side of the bed.
And that's when he hears it. The sound of someone else sleeping close by. Yunho stills.
Yunho spreads his arms out to the sides on the empty bed. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Jaejoong wasn't sleeping next to him.
But someone or something else was there. As the fogginess of early morning sleep leaves him, Yunho begins to become aware of the irregularities between this morning and all the other mornings he had awoken for.
The sheets were softer than the ones he had fallen asleep on. The bed too firm. He was dressed in a pair of boxer shorts, yet he doesn't remember ever changing out of his clothes last night.
Yunho moves again and it feels like his body has gotten smaller and lighter under his command.
Something was definitely different.
Yunho sits up, suddenly awake, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room.
Where was he?
His hands begin to shake as he presses them over his beating heart. But, even though he could feel the touch of his hands against the skin of his chest, it felt wrong. It was too small and lean to be his own.
Was this a dream?
Yunho closes his eyes again and attempts to do a round of meditative breathing exercises. But it doesn't help. The room remains dark and what he is pretty sure is a person, continues to breathe in and out with sleep.
"Hello?" He whispers.
The voice that comes out of his mouth is strange, it's too high to be his own. But he ignores the fact and leans closer to source of the sound beside him, trying a little louder.
"Hey. Wake up."
The person groans and Yunho hears them shift around in a bed farther away from him.
"Hey." He practically yells. The person groans again, but this time Yunho makes out the sounds of muffled words. "What?"
Yunho processes the voice, recognizing it right away.
"Hyung..." Yoochun mumbles. "Still sleeping."
Yunho yanks the covers off of his body.
Why was he in Jaejoong's room with no Jaejoong? Why did his body feel so different? What the hell was going on?
Yunho jumps out of the bed and stumbles toward the crack of light indicating where the door was. A sinking feeling of panic already starting as he jerks the door open and runs out into the hallway where the bright light of the morning reveals to him what the darkness of the room could not.
He moves around, touching his face, his arms, his legs, his hair, and even though it was happening to him he couldn't believe it.
He stares down at his body and wants to scream but the overpowering shock prevents him from ushering even a single sound.
Pale skin. Dark hair. Lean body.
This is...Jaejoong's body.
The door across the hall swings open and Yunho nearly falls backward in surprise.
It feels like Yunho was staring at a mirror, yet this wasn't a reflection. That was his body standing across from him. And he wasn't in it.
Yunho's eyes widen, meeting with the just as equally confused pair staring back at him. A stunned silence stretching between them, neither moving, just staring, mouths open in awe.
Yunho regains a voice first.
"What...the fuck?" A/N: What do you think? I find this chapter to be a bit eh, only because I know the ones to come are going to be so much fun. I really have a lot planned out. So hopefully I'll be able to update quickly ^^;
ALSO there'll be a bonus part before chapter two. I'm adding it in because it's how this fic started and I'd feel it'd be weird to not include it. Thanks for reading~